I'm feeling lost and I want to become found. I'm feeling like I need to do something, and I know I'm on the verge. I know that I need to continue to do what I'm doing. Examine my life and see if things in it are moving me forward or are distracting me. I want to help people above and beyond teaching and I want more time to create things that are important to me. I would love to not be a teacher in a public school, but I'm not sure where this will lead me. I also know that I have this uncanny talent to write really funny songs on the spot, and I have a wonderful infectious energy. I know I can harness the power of good, and I have a lot of amazing, creative friends to help me. I just need focus. I am like a Jackson Pollack painting. My energy and ideas and essence get splattered every which way, and I need to harness them. I have so many ideas and so many passions, which one do I pick?
I choose to be in the present. I choose to take things one day at a time, and I choose to find the better thought. I am taking tomorrow as a gift (thank you Dr. King) to myself. I will spend the day creating, and hopefully something amazing will come out of it. I know I can apply the skills I have learned in teaching to reach a wider auidence. I have a lot to say. I have a lot to offer, and I just need to find the right message and the right audience. I also need to write for myself more often.
It's hard to get out of your head sometimes. It's hard to have so many thoughts and not know which one to act on. Writing has helped me clarify and take some action. Friends help me process and listen, but only I can take the action I need to take. I have created vision boards, stopped eating sugar and I have writing 750 words a day for 15 days. That is action. I have been working out consistently, paying attention to what I'm eating and choosing to not let drama affect me. That is taking action. I feel like I haven't done a lot, but in fact, I am doing things every day.
I keep waiting for something to hit me, or strike me light a lightening bolt, when in fact, I'm slowly cooking like a crock pot. I am doing a little bit each day, and when I'm finished, my finished product will be amazing. Small steps towards a bigger picture. Even as I'm writing I'm realizing how I am not taking time to notice the smaller things. I'm not taking time to be grateful and understand how many blessings I have in my life. I am not ... I am taking time right now to notice. I am taking time right now to be grateful and I'm taking the time. I have time. I have the gift of time (refer to my post on time).
Now what? I took action today by writing, and I am going to create content for an idea I have. I am also going to spend some time with friends today, which is always a blessing. I am enjoying this quiet Sunday morning looking out at the snow in my front yard, and I'm snuggled next to a purring kitty, while sipping on hot tea. Life is good. It really is. My "problem" is that I want to do more. I have a lot to be grateful for. I have a wonderful wife, a snuggy house with two fuzzy feline friends, a wonderful, loving supportive family, great, amazing friends. I love living in Ithaca. I have a job that is pretty great most of the time. I get to affect people everyday. I make an impact every day on some child's life. Even if it's making a crazy joke, or singing during math class. I have my health and I have a strong body that I nourish with good food. I am about to head out and eat my most favorite breakfast of all time, and it's sunny in Ithaca for more days than I can count this winter. Life is good. Now I get to discover what's next, and that is a great problem to have.
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